This is why God created Valium

I used to think I was a people person. But then people turned into dumbasses.
On the scale of "How Much Does Andrea Like You?" most people fall somewhere in between Zero and Hell, in a little place I like to call "You Fucking Suck". (see below for an incredibly realistic model of this scale)

Sadly, most people seriously overestimate there place on said scale. Today was the type of day that reminded me how much I don't like those people.
Then, I took some doctor prescribed patience and used the F-bomb a lot.
And now I'm home, and I think a little something extra was just added to my Diet Dr. Pepper. I knew Brandon loved me.
My day = instantly corrected.
And I don't even care that my picture above is too big for my blog.

Why FB is the debil.

Am I the only one who is hating Facebook (hereafter called "FB") these days? It is becoming pathetic. Seriously.
Here is why:

1) Lame updates: I don't want to know that you're going to the grocery store, or church, or to the Lesser Antilles on vacation. Unless I am a burglar. In that case, this is wonderful information to know. Otherwise, I don't give a rats @$$.

2) The median age of FB users is quickly falling. Like, in the pre-teen, elementary school ballpark. Like coach pitch ball. T-ball, even. And if a person isn't actually that young, odds are they are going to act like they are anyway...

3) Stop sending me game requests. I do my gaming at the slots.

4) How often do you see a status from Negative Nancy that is obviously something that would never actually come out of her mouth in real life. She's Negative Nancy for a reason. She needs to stop pretending she's Susie Sunshine. I ain't buying that bulljive.

5) You're pictures are stupid yo. Stop throwing me the peace sign and poking your lips out. Then again, you probably fall in the same category as those in number 2 (see above). I do however, like to see pictures that accidentally capture someone scratching their butt or picking their nose, and the person putting the picture on FB didn't realize it. Or did they....?

6) Random comments. Ok, their are statuses (statii?), and there is a wall. If you want to tell Bobby that you saw his mom at the Piggly Wiggly today and appreciate her sharing her potted meat recipe, don't do it as a comment on Bobby's status about the new tires he bought for his truck. I might be interested in Bobby's tires and go to read your comment and get POTTED MEAT. For fricks sakes. It's called a damn wall. Use it.
Or better yet, just delete your FB.

Long story short, FB usually just makes people look and (if I could hear them speak) sound ridiculous. But, when mixed with the right amount of alcohol, it can make for cheap entertainment. Maybe I will hold on to mine for a little while longer. If I want to get drunk at 3 in the morning and post about Hungarian Horntails, don't judge me.

I let Hannah dictate this blog post...

Verbatim:

I'm picking on my kid, that's really funny. She lost two teeth in the front on the very top. One fell out by eating ice cream, it was hanging on a strip. And one of them was pulled out by her cousin. It's so big that she can stick four straws in there, and that's the gap. It really looks like a dog. It really does. It's as big as a dog. She gots two big teeth that are permanent. And why were ya'll making those faces like that, those little round circles? (she was talking about me, amy, and paige on the header of our blog). Oh man, I wish you could put a smiley face right there. Oh my gosh, I've got a good one: has anybody watched Spongebob where Squidward has a house, he shaped it like it was the little two eyes, and y'all look like 'em. Flat like a bird swerving all around. Funny. hahahahahahaha.




This is exactly what she told me to type...this is how her brain works. Randommmmmmmmm.

Harry Potter and the Geekdom of Andrea

I am a self-admitted nerd/geek/loser, and I totally own it. Naturally, then, I love Harry Potter. My HP experience came to it's end this weekend when I saw the final movie (in 3D no less).

Ok...now, I get very emotional during movies. Which is odd because I don't show a lot of emotion over real, true stuff. Just wizards and hobbits and rogue FBI agents who hunt aliens. And Disney movies featuring animals. Let me tell you, by the time I left the theater, my head HURT from trying not to cry my eyeballs out. Seriously. If I would have been by myself, I would have just let it all out. Sobbed. But, as it was, I was sitting between Brandon and my sister...and I would never hear the end of it if I boo-hooed like a baby. I held it together reasonably well. It helped that every 3 minutes, Hannah was leaning over with her giant HP 3D glasses on asking me if I was crying, then she would taunt me by taking some of my tissue and wiping her glasses with it. Not even her eyes, the outsides lenses of her glasses. I survived. But when I own this movie on DVD, it will be my new go-to PMS, emotional, need a good cry movie.

I also just realized that this week will be FOUR years since me, Amy, and a 3 year old Hannah waited in the midnight line at Walmart to get the 7th book. What kind of mother am I to drag my tiny tot along, who should have been in bed???? Well, to be fair, she would have been up anyway. She enjoyed it, especially when she made the entire line of people waiting aware that a midget worked there: "Momma, look at that little Walmart girl!".

Oh, the memories!

Fact

I have more zits on my face than dollars in the bank.

Just in case you were wondering...

I don't care for Beyonce.

That is all.

No, it's not. While I'm at it, I don't care for:

fire smoke: it's currently invading my house!
laziness
coconut/grapes: texture issue
that horrible feeling after you eat/drink too much
gory movies
arrogance
loud people
the color orange
wasps
reality romance shows
big hoop earrings (those are for whores)
names that don't follow the rules of grammar

All of the above things are unnatural.

X Marks the Spot

In case you didn't know this about me, I'm a huge X-Files fan. Even to this day. Like, years after the series ended. Cigarette-Smoking Man is the bomb (see my blog title, hellooooo?!?!?!?!)

Tonight will probably be a marathon night. Right now, it's the first movie (co-starring John Locke!!!) Next, who knows?

I could watch this stuff all night.

/nerd rant